One of the communication stages that sends out the most clues about one’s mindstate is the greeting process.

Greeting is a way for humans to intentionally communicate awareness of each other’s presence, to show attention to, and/or to affirm or suggest a type of relationship or social status between individuals or groups of people coming in contact with each other. As with many forms of communication, greeting habits are highly culture- and situation-specific and may change within a culture depending on social status and relationship. Greetings can be expressed both audibly and physically, and often involve a combination of the two. This topic excludes military and ceremonial salutes but includes rituals other than gestures. - Wikipedia

One of the most common gesture used to greet others is the handshake. Certain types of handshakes can be distinguished and each one of them has a particular psychological and social meaning.

Vice. Strong grasp of the other person’s hand. It’s often used unconsciously, but most of the times it has the intention to express power. People who want to show that they’re not weak and inefficient as others may believe often use it as a form of compensation.

Dead hand. The opposite of the vice, a totally relaxed hand. The ones who employ this type of handshake don’t connect to the other person. Their attitude, just like their hand, remains passive. Often met at persons with big egos, but also at people who have to shake lots of hands. It’s also influenced by the cultural background (African handshake). Still, the dead hand is often used for other reasons: women wanting to leave the impression of languishing femininity or by strong men use to underline their power (Mike Tyson had a dead hand handshake).

Firm hand. Fingers get around the partner’s hand; the pressure is moderate. Studies found that it is used by extrovert persons. It is also used by women who are open to new experiences.

Blood sucker. Spooky name… There are people who hold their partners hand after the handshake. By holding the other one’s hand, a person can control the flow of the discussion. What is interesting about this handshake is that the “victims” rarely have the courage to free their hand.

Wet hand. People with damp hands often try to hide this by wiping it off their clothes before shaking hands. It’s a sign of anxiety, but there are also people who have a genetic illness that determines this.

Restrengthen. An amplified version of the handshake, in which one uses his both hands.

Invasive handshake. In a symmetrical handshake, the participants hands should meet at half the distance between their bodies. The invasion refers to moving that space in one of the personal spaces of the participants.

Dominant handshake. One of the participants turns their arm so that their hand ends up above the other one’s.

For more information on the handshake psychology, read the “Handshake psychology” post.

Determining the psychological state of a person from the greeting moment can prove to be very useful in the communication process.

Use these informations together with the ones on how to interpret the eye movements, and you should be able to have a pretty decent (but still foggy) picture of what’s going on in the other person’s head.

That’s it for the fourth part of the series.

Summary:

1. I can read your mind (I). Introduction and eye movements.
2. I can read your mind (II). More eye movements.
3. I can read your mind (III). Last two eye positions.
4. I can read your mind (IV). Handshakes

“Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it.” - John Templeton

The best things life are free. It’s true. Also true is the fact that your happiness is in the happiness of others. I don’t think anyone would be happy to be completely alone on a deserted island, even if it would be possible to have all the material things money can buy.

Do you enjoy receiving gifts? Do you enjoy giving gifts to others? We all do! It’s a very nice, positive experience. The problem is that most of the gifts we’re giving are material, and your money is very often limited…

Did you even think about free gifts? No, not the material kind of free gifts (those have very often limited effects anyway). I’m talking about another kind of gifts, the kind that offers not only pleasure to the target and yourself, but also creates happiness for both of you.

1. Gift of Affection. We all want to feel needed and loved. Handholds, pats on the back, hugs, kisses – these are gifts that you can give at no cost! They demonstrate your love towards friends and family, and help you in building strong relationships.
2. Gift of a Compliment. A simple compliment coming from deep within your heart has the power to make someone’s day. It’s a gift that creates huge amounts of positive energy instantly, and it doesn’t cost a dime!
3. Gift of a Favor. You’re not perfect, I’m not perfect; we all need some help from time to time. Do something kind for someone who is in need! It doesn’t have to be a friend or part of the family. The biggest satisfaction comes from helping someone who can’t pay you back. Has a stranger ever helped you with anything? Didn’t it feel great? It gives you that positive thought that “there’s still good in the world” and it also improves your confidence.
4. Gift of a Smile. Smiling is contagious. It has the power to instantly lighten up any situation or person. Smiling is also free!
5. Gift of Listening. Stop your rumblings and just pay attention to what the one next to you has to say. Really listen; no daydreaming, no planning responses, no interruptions, just listen. I am a big fan of the “The Simpsons” series, and in one of the episodes I recently watched, Homer learned to listen to his family (season 13, episode 9).

Give these gifts as often as you can, and I can promise you that you’ll feel an enormous improvement in many aspects of your life!

I know that this list has a lot of potential to expand, but I wanted to know your opinion too. Your gift suggestions are welcome in the comments!

While reading one of the funniest blogs in my feedreader (JohnCow.com), I noticed a very good idea in one of their posts. The idea was about gathering more readers and link backs for a blog.

How does it work?

You just copy the list down below on your blog, hence creating link backs for your blogging friends and then click the RSS feed link to subscribe to all of them. Then you add yourself and up to 5 other bloggers and their feeds to the end of the list before you publish it on your own blog. Show your friends some link love!

Original List: 

• Subscribe to JohnCowdotCom
• Subscribe to BobmeetsWorld
• Subscribe to LifeisRisky
• Subscribe to TheKingKongBlog
• Subscribe to My New Hustle
• Subscribe to GadgetTastic
• Subscribe to Life of Browie
• Subscribe to Disregard Me
• Subscribe to Everybody Go To
• Subscribe to Brian Vaughan
• Subscribe to Fuery
• Subscribe to Sam Breadstone
• Subscribe to Project Armannd
• Subscribe to Pick The Brain
• Subscribe to Little Mummy

Want a link here? Grab the above list, publish it and I will add you after I get a trackback from your blog.

Your links here:

• Subscribe to Shine With Grace
• Subscribe to Orient Lodge
• Subscribe to SeevsPlace
• Subscribe to Emila’s illustrated blog
• Subscribe to B Money Savvy
• Subscribe to Christy’s Cofee Break
• Subscribe to Blog Gigs
• Subscribe to Vanessa Unplugged

Who would follow the advices of an old man that tells countless beautiful stories about a marvelous land, if the world finds out that he has never been there and everything was just an invention of his mind? Whoever would try to follow his advices is bound to be lost in nothingness. – Armand

Lately I’ve been listening and reading lots of philosophical and psychological materials on the most various themes. It has proven to be time well spent as I’ve assimilated quickly and learned a lot. But… I felt that there was something inside me that wasn’t evolving. And knowledge should be evolution.

My understanding and perception of life increased in general, but, as a paradox, I was feeling smaller inside, as if this knowledge I was absorbing created a black hole inside of me.

The first solution I went for was to read and listen to even more materials and speeches, believing that my uneasy feeling was the result of a big “hunger for knowledge”. It didn’t work and the uneasy feeling grew even bigger. Seeing that this wasn’t determined by me, I then thought that this must be something that is determined by the actual information I was taking in.

So I started analyzing…

There was a time when philosophy truly reflected on man and his life. Then the myth of Narcis contaminated this beautiful science, which fell in the trap of watching her own image in the mirror and started taking care of herself. Her speculations became abstract and useless for the life of man, and the breach between life and knowledge became larger.

Choice consists of the mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action.

There is a dogma which the western industrialized societies follow. This dogma is based on freedom, and it says that in order to maximize the welfare of the citizens, the society must maximize their (individual) freedoms.

Freedom is the essence of being human. The way to maximize freedom is to maximize choice. The problem with choice is that nowadays it simply exploded.

If you’re sick, you go to the doctor. And the doctor tells you: “Well, to make you feel better, we can do (a) or we can do (b). (a) has these benefits and risks and (b) has these benefits and risks. What do you want to do?“. And you say: “Doc, what should I do?“. And the doctor says: “You can choose (a) or you choose do (b). (a) has these benefits and risks and (b) has these benefits and risks“. If you want to take it even further, you ask: “But doctor, what would you do if you were in my position?“. He would say: “But I’m not. (a) has these benefits and risks and (b) has these benefits and risks. What do you want to do?”.

This is a shifting of burden and responsibility of decision making from someone who is well and knows something (the doctor), to someone who is sick and knows nothing (the patient). Does this look right to you?

Is all this freedom of choice good news, or is it bad news? The answer is yes. It’s both.

Since you know what the good sides of freedom are (you are enjoying them right now), I will write about the the two main negative effects.

Paralysis

With so many options around, people find it very difficult to choose at all. The paralysis is a consequence of the world having too many choices.

Even if one manages to overcome the paralysis and makes a choice, it ends up less satisfied than if it had fewer options to choose from.

The reason for that? With so many options to choose from, if you buy some stuff and it’s not perfect, it’s easy to imagine that you could have made a different choice that would have been better. And what happens next is that the imagined alternative induces you to regret the decision you made. This regret subtracts from the satisfaction you get from the decision you made (even if it is a good decision).

The more options there are to consider, the more attractive features of these options are going to be reflected by us as as the opportunity calls.