Robert Pattinson is the kind of man whose personal philosophy is to live life to the fullest by experiencing everything once. Everything except a hundred cum shots pie to the face, because he looks like he’s about to cry.

There there, you poor shiny vampire.

… off “Two and a Half Men,” possibly by having his character drive a car off a cliff.

I know, Sheen already drove off a cliff so to speak, but this will be a different thing. The studio wants to write him off the show in a way that will prevent him from ever returning. It’s like when you beat cancer – you don’t want it back.

And now that both his goddesses have left him, Sheen might volunteer to do the driving off a cliff himself, live, in the expensive Mercedes he’s trying to get back from one of them.

We’ll never know…

tmz

In case you didn’t know, the Miss USA 2011 pageant took place last Sunday. Yeah, big event apparently with 6.6 million viewers tuning in to watch the skinny bit… girls parade on NBC. There’s porn on the internet people, you don’t have to watch that stuff…

But anyway, when these highly evolved female role models were asked if they believe evolution should be taught in school things got a little… humorous. One mumbled something about creationitism, another one said we should just leave that to the government, and the star of the show answered by saying:

Uh, you know what, I think why not, because, I think it just gives young the youth right now, in America, why not keep their options open. You don’t necessarily have to agree with it, but I don’t, I’m not, opposed to it.

What? Exactly.

Enjoy yo’ selves.

edit2 (11:30am PST)/ it’s gone again, her vevo account was terminated.

edit/ it’s back! Friday, Friday…

I’m not sure why I care about this, but due to a legal dispute between Ark Music and Rebecca Black the Friday video has been pulled off YouTube.  Sadface.

The fun, fun, fun is over, but I’m still looking forward to the weekend, weekend.

PS: To be honest, part of me actually misses that godforsaken video.

tmz

There was never a more perfect fucking union of words and voice. Samuel L. Jackson, you’re fucking awesome!

“All the kids from daycare are in dreamland. The froggie has made his last leap. Hell no you can’t go to the bathroom, you know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.”

Grab the full audiobook from Audible.com while it’s free! Or, if you don’t want to deal with DRM and all that other bloat, download the mp3.