This band will blow you away.
A greengrocer from Quetta thought the NATO forces in Afghanistan are incredibly stupid, so he planned a simple scheme to scam some money out of them. He pretended to be Mullah Akhtar Muhammed Mansour, a senior Taliban official, second-in-command to (Taliban chief) Mullah Omar. He then told NATO officials that he wanted to negotiate the end of the Afghan conflict and requested the release of all Taliban prisoners, safety assurances for fighters returning home and the promise of government-funded jobs – but not the withdrawal of the occupation forces. Having the MI6 vouching for him and all the Afghan allies seeing him as an angel sent down from the heavens, he even managed to hold talks at the Presidential palace in Kabul with Afghan President Hamid Karzai and US General David Petraeus.
By the time NATO realized he was a hoaxer telling them what they desperately wanted to hear, the greengrocer was gone with £600,000 (US$940,000) of their money. Oopsies!
At the Nato summit in Lisbon a fortnight ago, an appalling vista must have opened up before the 28 leaders of the most powerful military alliance in history, with its bombers, tanks, drones and helicopter gunships, being defeated by a lightly-armed bunch of farmers’ sons and tribesmen.
It was in the distorted, demented perspective brought on by this terrifying possibility that the aubergine salesman from downtown Quetta (or maybe he was a dentist, how would I know?) was greeted like an angel of God.
They don’t who they are dealing with, they don’t know what they are doing, they are lost in Afghanistan, and their war is lost.
In the words of Nelson Muntz: Ha Ha! Just how f*cking stupid are you, NATO?
I don’t even want to think about what would happen if NATO was ever to invade Nigeria.
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