Because he had a wart on his finger that no doctor or ointment could remove, Sean “The Retard” Murphy (photo above) decided to take matters into his own hands with a radical at-home procedure.
As he was a security guard, he chose a 12-bore Beretta shotgun as his surgical tool, anaesthetised himself with beer, stretched out his hand, aimed at the warty finger and bam, pulled the trigger.
Only problem was, shotguns aren’t exactly precision surgical instruments and their recoil is often too powerful for one hand use, especially when drunk. So Murphy ended up shooting off his whole finger, not just the wart. But that was no big deal for our man, he was just happy “that the wart has gone. It was giving me a lot of trouble.”
But then yet another problem appeared.
Thankfully for our retard (no offense to retards), his lawyer did a good job and got him out with a suspended 16-week prison sentence and 100 hours of community service. Defending Murphy, the lawyer gently described him as “a victim of his own stupidity when domestic pressures got to him.”
Stupid or not, I bet he had a blast doing it. Also, why isn’t he in a mental institution? The level of idiocy that made him think shooting off a wart with a shotgun is a good idea could put other people in danger.
