Good news for kidnappers of royal figures: the King of Norway is an easy target.

During an unannounced training exercise involving Norway’s royal guard, several of the King’s bodyguards were found hiding in toilets, under beds, climbing over fences to escape duty or simply pretending not to hear the danger alarm over the furious sound of urine flowing down their pants.

Guards were not informed that this was an exercise, so the mission could just as easily have been a real danger situation.

Dagbladet has confirmed that  guardsmen were hiding both in a toilet and under a bed. Another guard has climbed over the fence in a desperate attempt to escape his duty. According to sources in HMKG there were also some bodyguards who pretended they did not to hear the alarm.

This seems like a perfect time to change the motto of the royal guards from “Alt for Kongen” (Everything for the King) to “KJØR PÅ DITT LIV” (RUN FOR YOUR LIFE).

On the bright side, twice as many soldiers as were required did show up. The viking blood is not lost after all.

dagbladet



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  • Anonymous

    “KJØR PÅ DITT LIV” (RUN FOR YOUR LIFE)
    Run for your life is “Spring for livet”
    Kjør på ditt liv would be translated to Drive on your life. ;)
    Other than that, its shamefully true.

  • http://armannd.com/ Titus-Armand

    haha, my bad. I used Google Translate for it and by the looks of things it’s pretty weak when it comes to Norwegian translations.

  • Blaargh

    “Shamefully” true? Noiseisloud, these “royal guards” are conscripts. Completely normal 19-20 year-olds who has pretty much been dragged straight from their lives and been forced to waste a year of their youth saluting the flag like good, little cannon fodder and run around in the woods, playing soldier while those of their friends who were not conscripted got to perhaps start studying, start their careers, and actually do something productive with their lives.

    Norway is a very free-spirited, overtly Liberal country, and damn proud of it. The population at large has absolutely no military interest, very little respect for this saber-rattling, “die for your country”- whoo-rah nonsense, and most certainly has no intention of risking their lives because ol’ Harald might find himself in some sort of a kerfuffle.

    I did not serve in the Royal Guard, but if I did; and had thus been told that “Hey, you know how we forced you away from your family and friends in order to have you crap in the bushes outside some freezing forest-tent in some fuckoff-Godforsaken corner of Finnmark for a year? Well, now this old cunt up in his castle might be in trouble, and we fully and completely without irony expect you to risk your personal safety so that he might be safe.”, I can assure you I’d jump out the nearest fucking window, too.