This guy just won’t quit making headlines.
The first thing I want to talk about is the fact that Osama Bin Laden really is dead. We may not have his death photos or the video of his burial at sea, but Al-Qaida confirmed Osama’s killing today and vowed to seek revenge. The terror network said in a statement that “America is celebrating Osama bin Laden’s killing, but it will be a temporary celebration” and continued by saying that America’s “happiness will turn to sadness.”
Stop being such an emo organization, Al-Qaida.
“The blood of the holy warrior sheik, Osama bin Laden, God bless him, is too precious to us and to all Muslims to go in vain. We will remain, God willing, a curse chasing the Americans and their agents, following them outside and inside their countries. Soon, God willing, their happiness will turn to sadness, their blood will be mingled with their tears.”
But Al-Qaida isn’t the only party angry at America. Jamaat-e-Islami, a Pakistani religious group, held an anti-America rally in Abbottabad today to show support for their holy warrior, Bin Laden.
The man pictured below was part of the rally and he manifested his rage by burning a tire and inhaling its smoke! So rad.
Moving on to the next Osama related story, intelligence discovered at his residence has revealed that he was planning to hit the United States again. This time by derailing an American high speed 
train on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. What a thoughtful man, remembering anniversaries.
Of course, some suspect the “train attacks” intelligence to be a contrived pretext that will be used to give the TSA a permanent “greeting” position in train stations. A scary thought which should be immediately countered with classical music.
The last story on the Bin Laden topic has to do with the previously unseen stealth helicopters used during the raid. More exactly, there are fears that their top-secret stealth tech could end up in the hands of the Chinese.
American troops destroyed the main body of the crashed helicopter but its rear section was intact when it was taken away by Pakistani military. Given the value of the technology and Pakistan’s unreliability, it’s entirely possible that the Chinese will make them an offer they can’t refuse. It won’t be the end of the world if they do, but it could result in an ugly diplomatic row.
