Some dude defaced a church sign in Carolina and made it say that Beyonce’s baby is the spawn of Satan. These guys fell for it:

Now, I’ve done my own research into this matter and came to the conclusion that this is nothing but a scheme by the Russians. I mean, if you rearrange the letters in “retards” (which these people obviously are) you’ll get “Red Tsar.” Who was the Red Tsar? Joseph Stalin! These are his people in a mission to vilify America and its celebrities! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!11!1one1one

Orange juice prices have hit a record high.

Orange juice prices have climbed to $2.12 a pound over the past few days, marking an increase of about 25% since the beginning of the year. The reasons behind this dramatic price surge are safety concerns about juice from Brazil, and cold weather in Florida.

Trying to speak on the matter after having an OJ-less breakfast, president Obama had this face to show:

via bbc

Take that, Apple!

Stephen Hawking has recently sent a letter to Intel co-founder Gordon Moore in which he said: “My speech input is very, very slow these days. Is there any way Intel could help?” Intel tasked a few groups to see what can be done to help Stephen, and they’ve built him a custom system based around the Lenovo X220 tablet.

The computer features an Intel Core i7 processor along with a forward-facing webcam, which Stephen uses to place phone calls using Skype.

 

Underneath the wheelchair is the black box, which contains an audio amplifier, voltage regulators and a USB hardware key that receives the input from the IR sensor on Stephen’s eyeglasses. The hardware voice synthesizer sits in another black box on the back of the chair and receives commands from the computer via a USB-based serial port.

Naturally, the PC runs Windows 7, because that’s what brilliant people require.

via freepress.intel

One of the world’s most loved tech giants, Microsoft, has just patented a GPS design which will allegedly offer users high quality information for pedestrian routes. Among the high quality features are options to avoid open areas with harsh temperatures and an option to avoid unsafe neighborhoods — aka ghettos.

The GPS technology was created for Windows Phones and will use the latest crime statistics and weather data in its route calculations.

Now I’m just guessing here, but I’m assuming that if the option to avoid unsafe neighborhoods is selected, the GPS map for Detroit will just show a circling road around the whole city.

via cbslocal